Distress in the Alzheimer's Wing

The new couple in mom's "memory wing" of her Chute is only 50% settled in. The man is just fine, sinking into his chair and drifting off to sleep, or interacting pleasantly when spoken to. The woman is tormented. She's in that awful stage of Alzheimer's where she knows there is something seriously wrong, but does not know what or where it is, and is asking everyone to help her put things right.

"Please," she says, "give my children and emergency phone number where they can reach us so we can tell them we are alright."
"They know you're alright," the Activities Lady tells her.
"How do they know?" Mrs. B. asks.
"They were here yesterday, and they talked with you, and they know you are here and that you are fine."

Alas, trying to be rational with someone who is not rational is a dead end. Worse, actually, since it just agitates the irrational one even further. What to do? After watching this process for over 3 years with the many people who have come in and out of the Alzheimer's wing, I land on the side of better medication. Not to slow or stop the Alzheimer's - that's not the point (it's going to get you anyway, so why prolong the process?). The point is to increase comfort and reduce the distress. There's good medicine that will do that, so they should put it to work.

The Activities Lady was occupied by getting Mrs. B. and her amiable husband out of the activities circle (where they were a major distraction and a source of distress for others in the group, including Mom), and settling them into his room where they could rest. She closed the door so they couldn't see the people in the circle, leaving them to themselves.

It's sad to see someone so upset, especially when I know she is going to get worse before she gets better. And the "getting better" part means that she'll get to a place where she doesn't know there is anything wrong. Her memory will be so fragmented she won't know where she is or what day it is. That's the good news. Amazing, isn't it?