How to be productive in all this swirl?

A harried day. Then hospice calls with another chirpy message. It was the nurse, so I asked about the meds, and sure enough, mom is still taking an antidepressant and an anxiety-reduction medication. Apparently hospice finds them beneficial. She is off the Alzheimer's medication, which is good.

I told her that I find the uncertainty of all this - not knowing how long it will go on - to be very stressful. I said I'm glad mom is comfortable, but that this is really hard. All of a sudden, I was afraid I was going to cry. It's so much easier to be angry about this than to be with the sadness and helplessness of the situation. But it's really awful and I wish it were over.

She suggested maybe I would want to talk with someone from hospice about how difficult this is for me. I cannot think of a more pointless exercise. I do not want to talk about this. It occupies too much of my life already - I can't even get the mail without being reminded that I'm in charge of someone else's life, such as it is. The nurse's suggestion snapped me out of it - I thanked her for the information and wrapped up the conversation. When I hung up the phone, I just wailed. This is horrible. Every day every day every day.