When do the "Death Panels" start?

Saw mom once this week. Visited her Tuesday at 1:00 pm, but didn’t talk with her – she was in bed, deep asleep after having been “mean, stubborn, and banging her walker” at lunchtime. I don’t know the details, but they took her to her room and she went to bed. They said she’s done this before, and played it down in case I was worried to discover that my mother has a nasty side (actually, I remember that side pretty well).

The next day I learned that she had pushed an aide, tumbled her right into the shower while she was helping pull up mom's pants. The aide said to her, "What would your daughter think about that?" and mom got sheepish and said, "She wouldn't like it."

So I went back on Wednesday and she seemed fine. Hospice people think she's fine too. I get these chirpy little notes from the hospice people about what they did together (a shower, reading, going outside in her wheelchair). I also get chirpy phone messages about how cute she looked in her blue outfit, and how she ate well at breakfast, and telling me that she seems comfortable.

So why is she in hospice care? Is she happy? Upset? How much of the day is quality time for her, and how much is distress? I have no idea - I just keep toting the laundry and handling her paper trip. Next step: an appointment with her annuities manager to see how long she can keep living in her nice little apartment. When she runs out of money, she goes on Medicare and moves into the acute care facility downstairs, sharing a room with no personal furniture. She was there after she had pneumonia in 2006 (this process is taking SO LONG!!!) and she hated it there.