Sat with mom for a while today and she was able to interact well. We talked about the things she enjoys - all positive - like that I saw a hummingbird, or the baby elephant at the zoo, and the little portable garden of plants in the dining room.
I'm so glad I'm starting a new contract next week and can get back into a faster-paced world of smart people and productivity and all that sort of thing. Being virtually unemployed for the past few months (contract agreements being sorted out, updated) has made my life seem slow and unimportant. I personally do not place a high value on sitting with my mother talking about hummingbirds, no matter how much it pleases her - and no matter how much the Life Is Precious Crowd thinks I should be delighted to sit there in the slow lane twice a week. I'd rather be making something happen, producing results, making decisions. Even the big project I did as a volunteer doesn't seem as satisfying as working for someone who thinks my contribution is worth a paycheck. I am so looking forward to Monday!!
Chute News: Julie, the lady who needed her medicine updated, is back. She's quite sane now, and even makes sense occasionally. Her husband is gone, in the acute care wing and probably never to return. Francie, poor thing, is still black and blue from her fall out of bed last month, and can only call out, "Help me, someone please help me!" She can get pretty loud. Nobody treats these outbursts with any urgency, because there is no helping her. She's failing slowly, requiring help to get out of her wheelchair and into a chair in the sitting room, and unable to do anything for herself. We live too long.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Medication Changes
Back from SF conference. Wende tended to mom and cats while we were away, and all went well (of course). The new couple on the Memory Wing has vanished. The door signs with their names on them have been replaced (the woman tore them down), but both people are gone. Apparently the man is in the Acute Care facility - I don't know why. The woman is somewhere getting new medication tested.
It takes about two weeks for Alzheimer's medication to kick in and let the doctors know what it will do to the person. One kind made my mother crazy and fearful and I begged them to stop. When they discontinued it, she was better in just a few days. This lady was weepy-depressed-fearful on whatever she was taking when she came in. She was always very worried and needy, asking aides for help. Then they gave her new medication and she got paranoid (mentioning her CIA contacts) and drumming up conspiracies to escape. Then they took her away.
I wonder where people go for medication upgrades. The aides said the paranoid lady was like Jana, a patient in the Wing over a year ago who finally had to be relocated. She paced, was aggravated and angry, and her just being there was disruptive and disturbing to the other ladies. This one was too. I wonder if there is a special place where they put problem people until their meds get sorted out.
Anyway, I'm back, mom's happy, and they're keeping her room locked because Anna wanders in there and takes things. All is normal again.
It takes about two weeks for Alzheimer's medication to kick in and let the doctors know what it will do to the person. One kind made my mother crazy and fearful and I begged them to stop. When they discontinued it, she was better in just a few days. This lady was weepy-depressed-fearful on whatever she was taking when she came in. She was always very worried and needy, asking aides for help. Then they gave her new medication and she got paranoid (mentioning her CIA contacts) and drumming up conspiracies to escape. Then they took her away.
I wonder where people go for medication upgrades. The aides said the paranoid lady was like Jana, a patient in the Wing over a year ago who finally had to be relocated. She paced, was aggravated and angry, and her just being there was disruptive and disturbing to the other ladies. This one was too. I wonder if there is a special place where they put problem people until their meds get sorted out.
Anyway, I'm back, mom's happy, and they're keeping her room locked because Anna wanders in there and takes things. All is normal again.
Monday, May 11, 2009
The Crazy Lady - More Alzheimer's Distress
The new couple on mom's "memory wing" is the center of attention again. Or at least the wife is. She ripped their room numbers and name plates off the doors to their rooms. She is pacing up and down the halls knocking on every door and calling out the name that is posted on the door sign. She is calling for her husband. He's nowhere to be found - he's in the hospital. Nobody wants to tell her that, because she'll go ballistic.
She approached me and said, "We have to get out of here."
"No," I said, "we're fine right here."
"Well, if that's what you think," she said, trailing off into a shrug and turning away.
These people need better drugs. She's on new medicine, because she was worried and crying all the time. Now she's paranoid and talking about the secret service people she knows. Come on - where's the better living through chemistry?
Meantime, mom is sitting with a little stuffed monkey doll on her lap, and reading her mother's day card from my sister. The card is a fresh surprise each time she discovers it on her lap.
I came home agitated and upset. What a horrible life, living in that place. Mom tells me she is happy that so many people are there helping her and talking with her, and she seems oblivious to the crazy lady, but I'm having a little trouble brushing it off.
I have to pack for a 5-day business trip to the other side of the country. Must think about what needs to be packed for a series of meetings and conference sessions - I'm in charge of the conference, so would like a clear head and a light suitcase, and to be ready for all eventualities. I'd like to get the crazy lady and her agitation out of my own thoughts.
She approached me and said, "We have to get out of here."
"No," I said, "we're fine right here."
"Well, if that's what you think," she said, trailing off into a shrug and turning away.
These people need better drugs. She's on new medicine, because she was worried and crying all the time. Now she's paranoid and talking about the secret service people she knows. Come on - where's the better living through chemistry?
Meantime, mom is sitting with a little stuffed monkey doll on her lap, and reading her mother's day card from my sister. The card is a fresh surprise each time she discovers it on her lap.
I came home agitated and upset. What a horrible life, living in that place. Mom tells me she is happy that so many people are there helping her and talking with her, and she seems oblivious to the crazy lady, but I'm having a little trouble brushing it off.
I have to pack for a 5-day business trip to the other side of the country. Must think about what needs to be packed for a series of meetings and conference sessions - I'm in charge of the conference, so would like a clear head and a light suitcase, and to be ready for all eventualities. I'd like to get the crazy lady and her agitation out of my own thoughts.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Caretaker Lifespan II
I've been posting comments on the caretaker lifespan article - some pretty feisty people in that conversation! I was moved to make a promise to one of them ("Hopeful American") that I'd finally draft that questionnaire I've been thinking about to help people be more responsible for how their lives end. I've pulled the Deep Age files out of my supply cabinet (in my home office) and made a list of the Deep Age documents I have on my computer. I will look through these things to see what I could say about that.
Thanks, H.A., for giving me the nudge.
Thanks, H.A., for giving me the nudge.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Caretaker Lifespan
Another article singing the praises of caregiving. Sheesh.
See http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30565985/
It says you'll live longer if you're a caretaker.
Thanks a lot. That's what I want to live longer for: to help somebody else eat, bathe, and pee.
I hate those articles.
See http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30565985/
It says you'll live longer if you're a caretaker.
Thanks a lot. That's what I want to live longer for: to help somebody else eat, bathe, and pee.
I hate those articles.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Distress in the Alzheimer's Wing
The new couple in mom's "memory wing" of her Chute is only 50% settled in. The man is just fine, sinking into his chair and drifting off to sleep, or interacting pleasantly when spoken to. The woman is tormented. She's in that awful stage of Alzheimer's where she knows there is something seriously wrong, but does not know what or where it is, and is asking everyone to help her put things right.
"Please," she says, "give my children and emergency phone number where they can reach us so we can tell them we are alright."
"They know you're alright," the Activities Lady tells her.
"How do they know?" Mrs. B. asks.
"They were here yesterday, and they talked with you, and they know you are here and that you are fine."
Alas, trying to be rational with someone who is not rational is a dead end. Worse, actually, since it just agitates the irrational one even further. What to do? After watching this process for over 3 years with the many people who have come in and out of the Alzheimer's wing, I land on the side of better medication. Not to slow or stop the Alzheimer's - that's not the point (it's going to get you anyway, so why prolong the process?). The point is to increase comfort and reduce the distress. There's good medicine that will do that, so they should put it to work.
The Activities Lady was occupied by getting Mrs. B. and her amiable husband out of the activities circle (where they were a major distraction and a source of distress for others in the group, including Mom), and settling them into his room where they could rest. She closed the door so they couldn't see the people in the circle, leaving them to themselves.
It's sad to see someone so upset, especially when I know she is going to get worse before she gets better. And the "getting better" part means that she'll get to a place where she doesn't know there is anything wrong. Her memory will be so fragmented she won't know where she is or what day it is. That's the good news. Amazing, isn't it?
"Please," she says, "give my children and emergency phone number where they can reach us so we can tell them we are alright."
"They know you're alright," the Activities Lady tells her.
"How do they know?" Mrs. B. asks.
"They were here yesterday, and they talked with you, and they know you are here and that you are fine."
Alas, trying to be rational with someone who is not rational is a dead end. Worse, actually, since it just agitates the irrational one even further. What to do? After watching this process for over 3 years with the many people who have come in and out of the Alzheimer's wing, I land on the side of better medication. Not to slow or stop the Alzheimer's - that's not the point (it's going to get you anyway, so why prolong the process?). The point is to increase comfort and reduce the distress. There's good medicine that will do that, so they should put it to work.
The Activities Lady was occupied by getting Mrs. B. and her amiable husband out of the activities circle (where they were a major distraction and a source of distress for others in the group, including Mom), and settling them into his room where they could rest. She closed the door so they couldn't see the people in the circle, leaving them to themselves.
It's sad to see someone so upset, especially when I know she is going to get worse before she gets better. And the "getting better" part means that she'll get to a place where she doesn't know there is anything wrong. Her memory will be so fragmented she won't know where she is or what day it is. That's the good news. Amazing, isn't it?
Friday, May 1, 2009
What keeps Americans from creating wills?
Here are some thoughts from the man who helped me to sort out my mother's finances after she was unable to manage them herself.
A WILL IS COSTLY
A properly prepared will does have some costs. This is especially true where complicated or larger estates are involved. However, the expenditure of several hundred dollars---or even more, when necessary--- pale in comparison to the cost of having no will. Without a will, an estate may face the maximum in applicable probate costs and taxes. In the event of family disagreement over distribution, legal costs skyrocket. By the time settlement occurs, hundreds, or even thousands of dollars might have been lost. In some cases, heirs can actually end up bearing the brunt of out-of-pocket costs. Therefore, having a will could save you and your family money.
DISTASTE FOR LEGAL DOCUMENTS
Many Americans seem to have a built-in distaste, even distrust, for legal documents. Some documents can be long and difficult to understand. A will is easily understood, however when compared to the legal intricacies that an estate without a will may experience. Attorneys will gladly provide an easy-to-understand summary of the contents of a will to ensure you objectives are met.
TOO LITTLE PROPERTY TO MERIT A WILL
It is easy for many Americans to look around and feel their estates are small and do not warrant the time and expense of a will. After all, the headlines always highlight multimillion-dollar estates. The truth is that every day many people die possessing much more than they realize. What may be a modest home today, a small investment portfolio, or just the beginning of a savings account can enjoy significant growth in value before death. Where no will exists, the state will determine the distribution.
LIFE GETS IN THE WAY
Finally, it is possible that the single biggest reason Americans fail to prepare a will falls into the "Life Gets in the Way" category. For some it is simply the day-to-day routine that prohibits them from considering a will. For others, it is the reality that they do not want to discuss death. For another, it may be rationalized under the "no one can know the future" reason, thinking that so much could change between today and the time of death. What good could it do to plan today?
WE CAN HELP
We can provide you with the names/addresses/phone numbers of numerous highly qualified attorneys. Whether your estate is "simple" or "complicated" the consensus among attorneys is every person needs an up-to-date will, power-of-attorney, health care power of attorney, and living will.
Robert H. Johnson III
The Columbus Financial Group
Robert_h_Johnson@glic.com or call 614-785-5100 x202.
A WILL IS COSTLY
A properly prepared will does have some costs. This is especially true where complicated or larger estates are involved. However, the expenditure of several hundred dollars---or even more, when necessary--- pale in comparison to the cost of having no will. Without a will, an estate may face the maximum in applicable probate costs and taxes. In the event of family disagreement over distribution, legal costs skyrocket. By the time settlement occurs, hundreds, or even thousands of dollars might have been lost. In some cases, heirs can actually end up bearing the brunt of out-of-pocket costs. Therefore, having a will could save you and your family money.
DISTASTE FOR LEGAL DOCUMENTS
Many Americans seem to have a built-in distaste, even distrust, for legal documents. Some documents can be long and difficult to understand. A will is easily understood, however when compared to the legal intricacies that an estate without a will may experience. Attorneys will gladly provide an easy-to-understand summary of the contents of a will to ensure you objectives are met.
TOO LITTLE PROPERTY TO MERIT A WILL
It is easy for many Americans to look around and feel their estates are small and do not warrant the time and expense of a will. After all, the headlines always highlight multimillion-dollar estates. The truth is that every day many people die possessing much more than they realize. What may be a modest home today, a small investment portfolio, or just the beginning of a savings account can enjoy significant growth in value before death. Where no will exists, the state will determine the distribution.
LIFE GETS IN THE WAY
Finally, it is possible that the single biggest reason Americans fail to prepare a will falls into the "Life Gets in the Way" category. For some it is simply the day-to-day routine that prohibits them from considering a will. For others, it is the reality that they do not want to discuss death. For another, it may be rationalized under the "no one can know the future" reason, thinking that so much could change between today and the time of death. What good could it do to plan today?
WE CAN HELP
We can provide you with the names/addresses/phone numbers of numerous highly qualified attorneys. Whether your estate is "simple" or "complicated" the consensus among attorneys is every person needs an up-to-date will, power-of-attorney, health care power of attorney, and living will.
Robert H. Johnson III
The Columbus Financial Group
Robert_h_Johnson@glic.com or call 614-785-5100 x202.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
